托福口语 Task1 求修改指教~Task 1Which campus improvement do you suggest your school to invest in:swimming pool,cafeteria or dormitory.Please give specific reasons to support your opinion.I'd like my school to improve the dormitory.Dormitory

托福口语 Task1 求修改指教~Task 1Which campus improvement do you suggest your school to invest in:swimming pool,cafeteria or dormitory.Please give specific reasons to support your opinion.I'd like my school to improve the dormitory.Dormitory
托福口语 Task1 求修改指教~
Task 1
Which campus improvement do you suggest your school to invest in:swimming pool,cafeteria or dormitory.Please give specific reasons to support your opinion.
I'd like my school to improve the dormitory.
Dormitory is where we’ll live for a long time.Its environment is closely related to ourdaily life and a better dormitory environment will let us live a more comfortable life.Taking my school for an example,my school dormitory has no air condition,so it’s always too hot and humid to fall sleep during summertime.As a result,we often feel listless in the daytime.If the school could change this situation,we'll be more energetic and vigorous to study in the class.
求大神改改expression~
选择dormitory我只想出了一个观点.有没有思维开阔的能多给几个理由?

托福口语 Task1 求修改指教~Task 1Which campus improvement do you suggest your school to invest in:swimming pool,cafeteria or dormitory.Please give specific reasons to support your opinion.I'd like my school to improve the dormitory.Dormitory
我给你想了几个理由 语言你自己组织下
比如 establish more dorm buildings.make the dorm less crowded so that students can have more private space to hold their books,clothes,and so on.
又比如 add some vending mechines in the building with vending machines,students who feel angry and have no time to go out to buy snacks in cafe can purchase things very conveniently in dorm.
还有 the school can purchase some fitness equipments and put them in some empty rooms in the dorm,change these rooms into a gym.after a busy study day,students really need a gym to relax themselves.

你要是当场能这么说，说清楚一些，卡的时候‘well’不那个，嗯，1，2题就是good。

如果这个稿是你认真写的的话，你作文也就20分。

如果只想到一个观点，写作也是，就把这个观点拆开，给它分成两块就是：

1. 让同学们生活环境更好，更舒适，睡得更香

2. 同学们在好好休息之后能更好的学习，有更高的学习效率，记忆更牢。

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   你要是当场能这么说，说清楚一些，卡的时候‘well’不那个，嗯，1，2题就是good。

   如果这个稿是你认真写的的话，你作文也就20分。

   如果只想到一个观点，写作也是，就把这个观点拆开，给它分成两块就是：

   1. 让同学们生活环境更好，更舒适，睡得更香

   2. 同学们在好好休息之后能更好的学习，有更高的学习效率，记忆更牢。

   你写语句的时候要更斟酌，话说的不好。反正你就找个1对1的老师上些课去吧，我给你细改了没有用，这才一道题

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