求意见!雅思作文 剑5 TEST2的TASK2这是 我 修改 后 的 剑5 TEST2 TASK 2 的作文 ,看看 有什么 希望 Task 2Some countries are encouraging young people to work or travel for a year after college entrance tests.This is beneficial for

求意见!雅思作文 剑5 TEST2的TASK2这是 我 修改 后 的 剑5 TEST2 TASK 2 的作文 ,看看 有什么 希望 Task 2Some countries are encouraging young people to work or travel for a year after college entrance tests.This is beneficial for
求意见!雅思作文 剑5 TEST2的TASK2
这是 我 修改 后 的 剑5 TEST2 TASK 2 的作文 ,看看 有什么 希望
Task 2
Some countries are encouraging young people to work or travel for a year after college entrance tests.This is beneficial for students and society in some degree.
On the contrary,the policy above brings as well as some outcomes which are not so satisfying.
Normally,young people can relax themselves in the travel or work and learn to be sociable from the experience.After a long time of nonstop study,students may lose their instincts to enjoy their lives and communicate with the world outside.Luckily,this can be recovered from the pleasant break between the two periods of study burden when young people can reevaluate themselves to seek lifelong pursuits.Besides,for students who are determined to step into society after college graduation,the experience can also be a warm-up in preparation for a career enabling them to adapt to the competitive society more easily than those nerds.
On the other hand,however,the interruption of study can be a deadly catastrophe for other students,especially for those who are severely inadequate for the ever-changing world.Because some hidden dangers or unknown mistakes away from school can make the youth never get a chance to return.Furthermore,it’s also a waste of time for students with the resolution to devote their lives to research work.One year off may produce a huge gap of specialized capabilities with those consecutive study counterparts.
The universality of self-contradiction completely fits in this case.One year of travel or work for students before higher education can be both valuable and malign.This is largely dependent on the expectation of students themselves and the maturity of the social circumstances.

求意见!雅思作文 剑5 TEST2的TASK2这是 我 修改 后 的 剑5 TEST2 TASK 2 的作文 ,看看 有什么 希望 Task 2Some countries are encouraging young people to work or travel for a year after college entrance tests.This is beneficial for
我是在世纪雅思学习的,我个人觉得这篇文章是：5.5分,从篇章结构看,基本完整,但是全文个人观点没有明确陈述和展现.从语义看,第一段的 college entrance tests是不符合题目意思的,policy是政策,规定下来的,所有人都这么做,而题目不是这个意思.应改为trend/tendency
从词汇方面deadly catastrophe, huge 太夸张了,不准确
语法方面,this指代不明.experience指代不清. for students with the resolution to devote their lives to research work的表意不清.全文多处用can,可以换想be supposed to, be considered,possible,likely,be capable of,would,may
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